“It's all noise,” squeaks Laszlo Birinyi, deflecting concerns about revenues, earnings, Europe, China, commodities, and rates as he unleashes his latest extrapolation. “If we continue to grow at 11bps per day, the S&P will be at 3,200 within 2 years,” he warbles as he hopes his ruler – which missed its 2013 projection by 1100 points – is forecasting better this time.

Video Length: 00:01:19

Good luck with that…

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This would represent a 24x multiple on Goldman Sachs' already exuberant $134 estimate for 2017 earnings. Dare we suggest that in order for the S&P to reach 3,200 within 2 years, the dollar will have to collapse in a Venezuela-esque hyperinflation…